


Safe With Me

by Multi_Trash07



Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Both are whipped for each other's dimples and moles (i just find it cute), Cuddles, Drabble, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Graduation, High School, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Jaehyun is Yuta's boyfriend, Kun foreign exchange student and class topper, Kun helps Yuta with studies, Kun likes kids and loves music, No Plot/Plotless, No Smut, Non-Binary Nakamoto Yuta, One Shot, Other, Post-High School, Safe Space, Second Chances, Separation, They meet again later, Yuta is that one irritating student who never listens to teachers, Yuta likes soccer but loves painting and butterflies, Yuta's pronouns are they/them, different countries, everytime you see the asterisk theres' a timeskip, lots of soft YuKun cuz we need more of them, lots of timeskips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28831137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multi_Trash07/pseuds/Multi_Trash07
Summary: Kun found comfort in a foreign country and Yuta needed more than only study help from the class topper.
Relationships: Nakamoto Yuta/Qian Kun
Kudos: 21





	Safe With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This happened because YuKun breathed next to each other for 3 months and made an ai whipped for them. Was absolutely spontaneous but I liked how it went. I wish I could make it better but I can't write for life. Hope everyone likes it <3
> 
> P.S. - Title is inspired from Sam Smith's song Safe with Me. Highkey(?) recommended for listening during reading

Yuta was sprawled on the upper storey of the bunk bed, when Kun had walked into the room with his luggage. They were taken aback for a second seeing a foreigner kid who they assumed would be their roommate for their high school years.

“Uh...hi...sorry for not knocking first,” the boy stuttered in his broken Japanese. He couldn’t even look at Yuta properly and instead chose to stare at the floor.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. I was expecting someone anyway,” Yuta replied, climbing down to stand in front of the stranger and introduce themself properly. They weren’t the rude person everyone around them liked to think.

“Hi, I’m Nakamoto Yuta. Just call me Yuta,” they said, bowing slightly.

“Hello, I am Qian Kun,” the new boy replied with a ninety degree bow which made Yuta almost jump. They had got a too polite roommate and they weren’t at all prepared for this.

“Nice to meet you...Qian Kun,” Yuta replied and sat down on one of the chairs in front of the common study desk, presently empty. “Sorry, I took the upper one already. Hope you don’t have any problem with that.”

“No it is okay. I am fine with anything,” the other assured them and walked to put his luggage on the empty storey. “Also, you can call me Kun. I’m a foreign exchange student from China.”

“Whoa! You left your country for high school?” Yuta was stunned, their mouth hanging open and eyes almost bulging out.

Kun sat down on the mattress and chuckled awkwardly. Scratching his head, he replied, “Yeah...my parents wanted me to study here so that I can help when they decide to expand their business.”

Yuta hummed, scratching their chin. Their parents would have loved to have this Kun guy as their son, he looked so obedient. They were just a headache to everyone. But at least they could have some peace back at home now that Yuta had moved to Tokyo for high school and wouldn’t create a mess at home every day.

The next morning they realised they were in the same classes too. But it didn’t take long for Yuta to figure out how better Kun is as a student compared to them. And well, it was good to have a studious roommate who could help you with homework from time to time.

***

“Yuta, you need to complete the calculus homework, come on,” Kun nagged from his chair as the other scurried off to the bed.

Yuta threw themself on the mattress, which smelt exactly like Kun. “I don’t want to,” they whined.

“Ito-sensei won’t like it if you don’t turn in homework tomorrow too,” Kun warned.

“I will finish it later. Don’t worry,” Yuta replied and pulling out their mobile, they began colouring the sketch of flowers they had drawn this morning.

Kun huffed and gave up. Yuta was lying on their stomach, the yellow light of the table lamp hitting their face faintly. The light and shadow playing on their side profile made Kun wish to stare at Yuta for hours. Yuta looked beautiful, always. Yuta was probably the most beautiful person Kun had ever seen in his life yet. And Kun liked to stare at them whenever Yuta focused on any of their artworks and their tongue peeked out slightly in concentration. Kun liked to see Yuta drawing.

Kun liked to see anyone doing the work they loved. He knew he wouldn’t get a chance to be like them. He knew he wouldn’t be allowed to make music, play piano all day or become a music teacher somewhere. He missed the grand piano placed in their hall back in China. It had been months since he touched a piano. The keyboard in the music club of school was not at all a match for his favourite instrument, which he had to leave back.

Kun shook his head and decided to focus on the homework. He wasn’t allowed to lag in studies, in anything.

Next morning, Yuta found their worksheet, beside the neatly-packed bento on the study table, filled in Kun’s handwriting. Well it didn’t exactly look like Kun’s since the foreigner had tried his best to make it a bit messy like Yuta’s own. It made Yuta chuckle. 

A few months ago if anyone had told Yuta that they wouldn’t have to stress over their lunch and homework regularly, they would have lost it. But Kun was an amazing friend who saved Yuta from surviving on take-outs every day. And he also helped them with studies from time to time; completing their homework was a new thing though. Kun must be protected at all costs, Yuta thought to themself. That boy was too kind for his own good. They decided to buy Kun his favourite candies on their way back from school that evening. Yuta wished they could do it right now but Kun had already left as he had some work in the student council. It was a weekly thing so Yuta was unfazed.

***

It didn’t take long for Kun to notice how Yuta was limping when the latter returned from their soccer practice. They told him it was nothing but a minor injury; they were going to be fine. But Kun knew better than believing Yuta’s words over their pained expression. He rushed to the washroom and returned with the first-aid box. Yuta tried to stop Kun from treating their wound but it all went in vain.

Kun pushed Yuta down on a chair and rolled up their track pants. He hissed at the somewhat large wound when Yuta gave up with their futile restrains. It had been a rough day at the field. They had scratched a huge part of the skin on their knee.

Yuta hissed when Kun applied the antiseptic.

“You can be all strong in front of everyone and can’t tolerate this much, huh?” Kun grumbled without looking up.

Yuta’s lips curved at the corners on their own accord. They always liked how Kun didn’t bring up gender while talking about their passion. They liked how Kun was so inclusive without realising it himself. It felt nice to have conversations with him. No one had talked to Yuta like this ever. Everywhere they had to suppress the urge to end a conversation abruptly while the other person kept on misgendering them unnecessarily. Kun was different. He was easy to talk with. Yuta never had to worry about feeling alienated when they talked to Kun. Yuta felt like this was where they belonged.

Kun was busy putting a band-aid on Yuta’s knee. He didn’t notice the shift of emotions on the other’s face. He didn’t notice how Yuta was looking at him, their eyes glistening with too much adoration.

Yuta couldn’t stop staring at the younger. The fading sunlight of the day was pouring in through the window, lighting up Kun’s face in a reddish-orange hue. Kun looked angelic. He always did, Yuta thought, especially when he smiled wide and his gorgeous dimples appeared. Everything seemed perfect, except Yuta didn’t like the frown on Kun. They brushed his fringes back slightly, their thumb brushing against Kun’s temple and his frown disappearing for a moment. The tiny mole under his eyebrow made him look gorgeous and Yuta couldn’t explain why. Kun finally looked up, confusion etched all over his features.

Yuta didn’t think before acting. They cupped Kun’s cheek, their thumb running over his cheekbone. Kun looked breathtaking at the moment. Yuta bent down and pecked the end of his lips, drawing back immediately.

Realisation was now hitting them like repeated ocean waves. They shouldn’t have done that. They didn’t know what Kun thought or felt. They never saw Kun flinching away when they got clingy with him didn’t mean he liked them the way Yuta did. For God’s sake, Yuta didn’t even know if Kun was straight or not. They had messed up. Kun’s stunned expression only supported their thoughts, presently running astray. They wished they weren’t this dumb. Yuta just wanted to disappear from the room, from the world.

Kun spoke first. “Why did you do that?”

Yuta could no more look into his eyes. They fixed their gaze on the floor and replied, “You are beautiful. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh,” the other didn’t have anything else to say right now.

Kun would be lying if he said he understood perfectly what just happened. He was taken absolutely off-guard and still didn’t know what to think. Kun was done nursing the wound by then. He packed the first-aid box in silence and left to keep it back in its designated spot.

They didn’t talk to each other for the rest of the day. Kun didn’t help Yuta with the calculus homework either. He looked as if he was in a hurry to get to his bed, to get away from Yuta actually.

Kun didn’t see Yuta the whole time next day. They had left the dorms earlier. Kun decided to leave Yuta’s bento at their desk in the class but he discovered it in his own bag at the end of the lunch break, absolutely unopened. Kun’s shoulders drooped. He had never felt this lost ever since Yuta came into his life. He should’ve just talked to Yuta yesterday. He hated himself for running away first, for being at loss of words. This was exactly what he shouldn’t be. His parents always told him how he should be smart and should be able to react properly in every situation. Well, they particularly never mentioned this kind of a situation but Kun didn’t know better than blaming himself for messing things up. Yuta didn’t look at his direction for the whole day. They left the room immediately after the bell rang. They didn’t return to their shared room until late. Kun didn’t even know when they came back; he had fallen asleep waiting.

The next day was nothing different either.

Kun just wanted to talk to Yuta but the other seemed to have erased their existence from his life almost. Kun should have been angry. He knew he should be disappointed in this situation. It was Yuta who kissed him out of nowhere. It was Yuta who was avoiding him without an explanation. It was Yuta who wasn’t giving him a chance to explain himself.

But he wasn’t angry, more like he wasn’t angry at Yuta. He was angry at himself for even letting these things happen. He was angry at himself for losing the chances he had of talking to Yuta. And he was worried for the other. He was worried how Yuta was pulling off. They didn’t look really good at school. They were not limping anymore but Kun wanted to know how much their knee had healed. He noticed faint bags under their eyes and knew how Yuta had messed their sleep schedule in their unnecessary struggle of not facing Kun alone. He was worried whether Yuta was eating properly or not.

On the third day Kun decided it was enough. He tried hard enough and unsurprisingly he didn’t fall asleep by the time Yuta sneaked in. Kun was on his bed, waiting in the dark with all the lights turned off. Yuta didn’t guess for once that Kun might have been awake. The latter shuddered, checking the time on his mobile. It was past the dorm curfew. Yuta could get into trouble for staying out till later. But that wasn’t his concern now.

Yuta had dropped their bag on the table and gone to the washroom. They didn’t switch on the light in case that woke up the other. Kun climbed off the bed and walked to the washroom door. He could hear water running inside and decided to wait at the spot so that Yuta didn’t get a chance to run off any way.

After around five more minutes, Yuta opened the door and jumped back immediately.

“Wh-why are you awake now?” they fumbled stopping themself from slipping and falling flat on their ass.

Kun walked in and asked, “Why are you avoiding me?”

Yuta took a step back and could feel the basin ledge behind them. They were trapped, Yuta knew. They couldn’t escape Kun’s questions or rejection anymore. They were fearing this moment since the last three days. Yuta knew they shouldn’t have kissed Kun in the first place but they couldn’t just help it. Their emotions took hold of them before their brain could.

“I’m not,” Yuta lied.

Kun snickered and Yuta could swear he had never looked that intimidating ever. Kun’s dimples made a brief appearance but those weren’t of any help now. They were of the same height but Yuta felt inexplicably small under Kun’s strong gaze. Who would’ve thought that the timid Chinese student had such a tough side?

Kun broke the silence again, “Do I look like a kid to you?”

“No.”

“Then just give me the answers I need.”

Yuta pushed back their messy bangs and after heaving a sigh, replied, “I...like you. I’m sorry Kun, I couldn’t help it. I tried to keep my feelings at bay but I couldn’t. I’m sorry I began thinking of you like more than a friend. And that day...you looked so nice...and your kindness was showing too much...I couldn’t help myself anymore. I like you too much.”

After a brief pause and silence from Kun, Yuta continued, “It’s okay I understand if you don’t want any of this. I don’t know your preferences either. I shouldn’t have done that. I will get over my stupid feelings I swear. I’m sorry for whatever happened. I need some time alone I think.”

“You’re so...stupid,” Kun spoke up finally.

“Huh?” Yuta looked up at him finally, perplexed and probably still a bit scared.

Kun shook his head and stepping closer, began speaking, “You could’ve just talked to me. I don’t bite, you know? Also if you really like me...stop making me worry so much, you idiot.”

“What?” Yuta refused to believe what they were hearing. This couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t. They were probably thinking too far ahead. They were definitely reading too much in the other’s words.

The younger smiled and cupped Yuta’s cheeks. They were adorable. Kun wished he had a better word to describe Yuta right now but he was blank. They looked cute with their messy hair, lost eyes, slightly parted lips, holding their breath. Yuta was trying to search for answers in Kun’s eyes but they failed.

Kun answered all their questions at once though. He leaned closer and whispered, “I think I like you too. Maybe we can make this work.”

If Kun said he wasn’t afraid of whatever could happen next, he would have been lying. But he wanted to take the risks; he wanted to feel free for once. He wanted to think about himself for once and be a bit selfish. And no one made him feel more free than Yuta.

Kun had his first proper kiss that night and Yuta felt like they had never felt more happy and peaceful after one.

***

“Your mole is so cute,” Kun mumbled softly, brushing back the other’s hair behind their ear, letting his finger run over the tiny spot on Yuta’s ear. He inhaled their scent on their nape and waited for a reply.

Yuta bit their bottom lip to stop themself from blushing more than they already were. Even until ten minutes ago, they wanted to wreck havoc at school for what one of the teachers had told Kun about his homework. But now they were lying in the arms of the kindest soul on the planet, with the widest smile on their face.

Yuta had paused their rant and blinked twice when Kun said he would worry about homework later and now he wanted cuddles. It was only after Kun pulled them to the bed and insisted on being the big spoon, Yuta figured out what the foreigner had planned all along.

Kun pecked Yuta on their hair from time to time and brushed it to calm the older down. Yuta realised soon enough that Kun’s plan was working. They had stopped fuming about what had happened at school already and only wanted to melt into Kun’s arms.

They inhaled Kun’s scent, from his hands which were linked in front of his chest. He smelt somewhat like vanilla always. Yuta couldn’t figure out why. But they didn’t care much as it always helped them to calm down on rough days. It made Kun feel more homely and Yuta loved that.

“Sensei shouldn’t have scolded you so badly today. You always complete your homework and it was only one day you had missed out a part of it that too accidentally,” Yuta said, sighing. It sounded as if they were defeated in some important battle.

Kun smiled silently, a lone tear drop at the corner of his eye, threatening to roll down. He was grateful that Yuta couldn’t see his face now. He had felt like crying since the second period, when he had been scolded in front of the whole class for submitting incomplete homework. He didn’t remember when he had last been scolded. Kun always made sure everything he did ended up perfect so that his parents didn’t get even the slightest complaint against him. He didn’t know how he had missed an entire side of the last worksheet. He had been reminding himself continuously to be more attentive. He had reminded himself that he was a high school student and he just couldn’t cry because he had been scolded by a teacher, that too for a mistake he had really done. He had been repeating it to himself how he shouldn’t make any mistake, not even for once.

Kun had even calmed down Yuta during the lunch break when the other wanted to go and create a mess in the staff room because they knew how unnecessary the whole rebuking session of the morning was. He didn’t want even a bigger mess. But no matter what he told himself, Kun failed to make himself believe the fact that the whole ordeal as really his fault. He kept on beating himself up throughout the day. He should’ve been more careful. He wanted himself to believe that Sensei scolded him harshly because he only wanted the best for him. Kun didn’t like how sad and embarrassed he was feeling due to the situation. He should’ve just got over it by now. It was his fault after all and he deserved whatever he got.

But Yuta constantly saying otherwise didn’t help much. Kun thought for a second how Sensei could’ve been a bit kinder with him but the very next moment he recalled what his father had once told him – “No one is going to be kind to you in this world.” And he could never expect kindness in a foreign country over that. Yuta seemed like an exception of everything Kun had learnt or known in his whole life though. They were so welcoming and friendly, once Kun used to doubt whether Yuta was real or not. But now with his lover in his arms, Kun knew Yuta was very much real, however, too different from the regular world.

Yuta turned around after sometime. Now they were facing Kun and the latter didn’t get enough time to wipe away the tears brimming in his eyes. Yuta did the honours instead. Their fingers ran along Kun’s cheekbones and wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes lightly. They brushed Kun’s fringes aside and pecked his lips.

“I hate what all of them have done to you,” Yuta grumbled.

Kun flashed his unique sad smile (Yuta could see the sadness lacing his eyes whenever the other smiled that way; they just didn’t have enough words to describe it properly) and pecked at Yuta’s forehead. He knew what they were talking about. He never thought he would share with someone how he wished to be a school teacher but didn’t have the choice as his parents were sure he was born to take over their family business. But he did share this with Yuta during one of their impromptu cuddle sessions after they went clear with their feelings for each other. Kun felt like he could say all such things only to Yuta – his only safe space. No one else would’ve ever understood him like Yuta did.

Kun had also realised how Yuta might not be as free as they always seemed to be. That night Yuta had shared their dreams too. They had said, “If I was given a chance to choose between an art gallery and a soccer field, I would go to an art gallery. But my dad would never let me. I know, Kun. I know how you don’t deserve to be locked up in your parents’ wishes but I guess we are all locked in the same cage.” And since then, every time Yuta doodled butterflies, Kun’s heart ached knowing how badly the other wanted to fly but wasn’t allowed to.

“It’s okay. I’m going to be fine tomorrow,” Kun mumbled back.

He snuggled closer to Yuta, making the slightest space between them disappear. Yuta smiled softly. They knew Kun was feeling better as his dimples didn’t disappear for more than a minute and they could only hug him tighter. Kun was extremely cosy and Yuta didn’t want to let him go, ever.

The two stayed in each other’s hold, breathing lightly, both hoping that the other would feel better when they have to break the hug, while the sun went down, painting the sky outside with orange and pink hues. The last sunlight of the day filled the dorm room, making the two look like they were in a ghibli movie.

Next morning, Kun found a tiny sticky note on his worksheets. It read – “You have completed everything. Yuyu double checked for Kunny!” It was followed by a small heart.

And it became a daily ritual for the rest of their school days. Yuta always made sure Kun entered the classroom with the beautiful dimpled smile on his face, free of worries.

***

When Yuta and Kun ran into the washroom, their fingers intertwined tightest, the corridor was deserted. Everyone was at the hall for the convocation. Every student waited for this day throughout their high school years. But Yuta wished secretly that the Graduation Day would come a bit late this time. And Kun didn’t want to leave already either. But it was the Graduation Day and Kun’s parents were already waiting in a hotel in Tokyo to pick him up and leave for China immediately, once the ceremony was over.

Yuta pushed Kun against the tiled wall and rested their forehead on his. Both of them were out of breath but the sad smiles didn’t leave their faces.

Yuta pressed their lips on Kun’s and the latter immediately responded. They were surprisingly not in a hurry. Kun played along with Yuta and followed their lead, while Yuta kissed Kun in the gentlest way possible. They had never kissed anyone this softly, wetting Kun’s lips and taking their time to push their tongue in through the slight gap between them. Kun didn’t want to let go of this gentle touch of Yuta. Kun wanted to stay there, in their arms forever and forget about all the worries of the world. He didn’t want to take the flight back to Beijing but he would have to. Yuta didn’t want Kun to return to his parents and lose the only bit of comfort the younger had found in them but they would have to let him go.

Yuta deepened the kiss to push back the sad thoughts in their head. As their fingers threaded in Kun’s soft black hair, Yuta thought of the day when they had shared their first consensual kiss. It almost felt the same way. Yuta felt kissing Kun was like visiting a waterfall on a cool breezy moonlit night. There was too much serenity, feeling almost unreal, and it was addictive, hypnotising. Everything about Kun was so endearing yet cheerful, Yuta felt that even their artistic mind couldn’t do justice to him ever. They just had to leave themself to the flow and cherish where the stream took them. Yuta would have been glad to give Kun all control of their life, unhesitatingly.

Running out of breath, Kun pulled away, breaking Yuta’s chain of thoughts.

Pursing his lips and looking at the floor, Kun mumbled, “I will miss you.”

Yuta cupped his cheeks and made Kun look at them. The younger’s eyes had turned glassy, now that the adrenaline rush of the day was dying down. Yuta felt their heart breaking into pieces with the younger’s sad orbs piercing holes through them.

“I don’t want to let you go...wish we could run away right now,” Yuta replied.

They were not joking. Yuta knew very well if they could, they would have run away with Kun to some different place, where Kun wouldn’t have to worry about living up to expectations and they wouldn’t have to run around chasing a ball with other boys when they just wanted to draw something.

But Kun snickered at their childish wish. Yuta couldn’t help smiling back and placed a chaste kiss on the other’s forehead.

“Call me when you get a chance,” they whispered, hope brimming in their voice.

Kun nodded and replied, “I will, whenever I can.”

***

_**//7 years later//** _

Kun finally spotted a cafe along the pavement while returning from the orphanage and walked in.

Two years ago when he returned to Tokyo to take over the headquarters of their family business in the country, Kun had recalled how he never wanted to leave in the first place. But he couldn’t get any control over his own life as his parents kept on treating him like their puppet. Kun still remembered how after returning to China, his father didn’t let him contact Yuta at all.

“Learn to leave people in the past when you are moving on with your life. Your Japan chapter is over. You have to forget the people you met there too,” the old man had said.

It was only last year when Kun had let his parents know that he wanted to help an orphanage every month since they wouldn’t let him be a teacher but he wanted to stay surrounded by kids even if it was once in a month. And he didn’t only want to enjoy but also help the kids so funding certain things in an orphanage was the option he had thought of. His parents didn’t agree overnight but his efficiency in the company which had made their business stable in Japan was enough to give in to his wishes for once. And that’s the only time Kun felt that he had achieved some control over his own life.

Kun placed his latte order at the counter and walked towards a vacant table he had spotted earlier. He had no idea why his regular go-to cafe was closed today but he didn’t feel bad in the new place. It was warm and cute and decorated with a lot of drawings (most of them were of open fields, mountains and butterflies) and fairy lights. The windows were embellished with flowers, creepers and small butterfly figurines. He would be lying to himself, if Kun said the place didn’t remind him of Yuta. He still remembered them. He didn’t know whether he still missed them or not though. However, Kun thought to himself, if he had to cross paths with Yuta again it wouldn’t be bad. But he doubted if the older could recognise him anymore or even whether they remembered him or not.

However, before his order arrived, Kun suddenly heard a loud banter from the direction of the counter. The few other customers scattered all over the cosy cafe also looked at the same direction.

“Who said you could come to my workplace?” a person cried.

Kun noticed a tall man at the counter trying to reply something but his voice was nothing compared to the other’s. Kun didn’t know who the person was on the other end of the counter since the girl who had taken his offer was cowering at a corner.

“Leave right now, Yoonoh!” the person spoke again.

This time Kun felt like he had heard the voice earlier. It sounded very familiar but Kun couldn’t connect the dots in his memory.

“Please listen to me once. I promise I won’t do it again,” the Yoonoh guy’s voice was finally prominent. He sounded desperate.

“What would you not do? You say it once every week and then go back to screwing strangers at your pub. Fuck off!”

Kun flinched at the harsh words while the conversation continued.

“Please give me a last chance, baby. I swear I won’t do it again.”

“This is your tenth last chance probably; I can’t take this stress anymore. Get out of my cafe right now or I will have to force you out!”

The guy made a last attempt, “Come on dude, I’m telling you right? I won’t do it again.”

“Don’t you fucking call me dude again. I’m tired of your disgusting ass, Yoonoh. You can’t even give me some basic respect. Get out of my cafe _right now_!” the probable owner of the cafe retorted and pushed the taller man out of the place.

Kun finally caught a glance of the ‘owner’ and his breath hitched. He realised why their voice had sounded so familiar.

The person turned around closing the door and apologised to every customer bowing repeatedly.

Kun stood up and called out, “Yuta...”

His voice was shaking. It had been seven years. Seven long years. Yuta looked almost the same except the fact that their hair was now longer and was spreading over their shoulders. And their honey skin was not as tanned as Kun had last seen. Maybe they really escaped their parents’ cage of soccer dreams.

But Kun didn’t know if he had any right to even look at Yuta anymore. He didn’t know whether he still had any right to utter the name. He had fucked up, he was the one who had left. And never in his life had he imagined he would see his high school fling here like this after all this time. And whatever form of the Japanese he had just experienced was scaring him a bit. Kun had never seen Yuta this angry at anyone, not even at their teachers back in school.

Yuta stopped apologising finally and looked at Kun’s direction. Their eyes squinted for a second. Kun couldn’t catch up quick enough but he felt like he saw multiple emotions passing over Yuta’s face in just a few seconds – surprise, shock, sorrow, despair and probably many more.

Kun sighed and realised he had been holding his breath the moment Yuta’s face finally lit up and the latter replied, “Oh my god! Kun, is that you?”

Before Kun could answer, Yuta ran to him and engulfed him in a tight hug. Kun again lost his breath. He missed this. He missed hugs. He missed Yuta. He missed the best years of his life. He missed the times when Yuta hugged him like this every day and set him free.

Breaking the hug and Kun’s chain of thoughts, Yuta pulled away and continued with their wide bright smile, their tiny dimple appearing, “I can’t believe I’m seeing you again. I thought you’re back in China. Also what is with this new look of yours? Glasses and long coats, huh? They really made you the perfect businessman, didn’t they?”

Kun finally found the courage to smile back. “Calm down. That’s too many questions in one go,” he replied, as meek as ever.

Yuta giggled and asked, “That’s your order right? The latte?”

Kun’s eyes widened and he couldn’t help but wonder, “You still remember?”

“It’s easy to guess now that you’re here,” Yuta continued, “wait, let me get it for you and then we can catch up. Gosh, how long has it been? Five years? Has to be more I’m sure.”

Yuta was as quick as always and before Kun could say anything else, they were near the counter. Kun sighed and sat down again, waiting for Yuta to return. His heart was beating too fast and Kun didn’t know why. Yeah, he didn’t fall for anyone else in these seven years but he never thought in his wildest dreams that seeing Yuta again would make him feel like this. He thought he had moved on.

Kun didn’t have to wait long as Yuta returned within a few minutes with his latte and occupied the other chair at the table.

“So how have you been?” they asked.

“As good as I can be following my parents’ wishes,” Kun replied, smiling, his dimples never leaving his face.

Done with the small talk after sometime, Kun finally built up the courage to ask the question he actually wanted to. “Who was that man?”

Yuta’s face fell in a moment. They sighed and looked away before answering, “My boyfriend...”

Kun didn’t like the way they left their words trailing, especially after whatever had unfolded at the place half an hour back. He saw the sadness return in Yuta’s eyes. Kun could easily tell that he wasn’t jealous but his heart wrenched in a way Kun didn’t expect it to wrench again ever. Yuta didn’t look good when they were sad. Happiness looked nice on them. Kun wanted to walk to the other end of the table and give Yuta a hug but decided against it. This was a public place unlike their school dorm.

Instead Kun placed his palm on Yuta’s outstretched arm on the table and pressed slightly. The other looked back at him forcing a smile on their face.

“Are you happy with him?” Kun asked, hoping he wasn’t stepping boundaries.

Yuta snickered at his apparently dumb question. “Who has ever cared for my happiness?” they mumbled.

I did. I always did and still do, Kun thought but couldn’t make himself utter the words. They sounded too hollow even to himself.

“I’m sorry,” he replied instead.

Yuta shook their head and smiled again. “Don’t be. I have moved on...and I could guess why you...never called, you know?” they continued.

Kun looked down at their hands and pursed his lips. Yuta took his palm in their other hand and intertwined their fingers, just like the old days. Kun felt as if his heart would explode out of his chest but he didn’t want to let go of the other’s hand no matter how wrong this felt now.

However, before continuing with the conversation, Kun’s eyes fell on a black and blue butterfly tattoo on Yuta’s inner arm. He was about to smile at it but his eyes involuntarily trailed a bit upwards and he pursed his lips spotting a dark bruise on Yuta’s arm. Kun shuddered.

Yuta still wanted to fly, to grow. But it looked as if they still had a dark cloud looming above them. Yuta’s arm looked like it was narrating their life through signs.

Th question slipped before Kun could stop himself, “Did he do this to you?”

Yuta followed his gaze and looked at their own arm. Kun felt them sighing again and Yuta tried to pull away their hand but he held back. Kun pressed their wrist lightly to make them stop and then proceeded to trace the tattoo with his slender fingers instead. The black borders and the dark blue shade on the wings of the butterfly were so Yuta. The crudity being taken over by vulnerability, the roughness existing entangled with the finesse – just like Yuta themself.

Yuta broke the silence with their humming. And it was Kun’s turn to sigh.

“Why are you staying with him? You looked so hurt back when you were shouting at him,” Kun continued.

Yuta snickered and replied, “He might look like an asshole but he can take care of me well...that’s what he is doing till now. We make it work together. But I don’t know how long I can force myself to see the good sides of him.”

“You deserve better,” Kun whispered.

“Maybe I don’t. Maybe I was meant to be hurt everywhere I go,” Yuta continued.

Kun felt like slapping himself. Why did he have to be one of those people who had hurt Yuta? He was supposed to take care of them. How could he do the exact opposite? How could he not be there when Yuta needed someone who would understand them? They looked as if they were broken beyond repair by now. And Kun knew he was one of the cruel people who had broken them. Kun had failed Yuta.

Yuta pressed their intertwined fingers and made Kun look at them. They shook their head the moment Kun’s eyes met theirs. “Don’t do that to yourself. We were kids. Stop thinking you had hurt me. You didn’t,” Yuta spoke, as unwavering as always.

Kun shuddered at how Yuta still read him so well. He couldn’t stop himself from doing exactly what they asked him not to. Kun did leave Yuta, alone to fight against a world which didn’t understand them at all. Kun forgot how Yuta knew that he had his own battles to fight too.

“Do you know why I got this tattoo?” Yuta broke the lingering silence.

Kun shook his head.

“Flying doesn’t excite me anymore. I only want to heal now. And the butterfly gives me hope that I still have time to heal,” Yuta explained.

Kun let the weight of their words settle down on his mind. Yuta had always been like this - different from what the world expected or assumed. But he also broke the silence soon.

“Can we be friends again?” Kun asked inhaling sharply, uncertainty lurking in his voice. He had no right to ask this. He had lost his chance seven years back.

Yuta smiled and shot back, “If you promise not to ghost me again, I can give it a thought maybe.”

Kun overlooked the playful glee in their voice and replied seriously, “I won’t I promise. My parents don’t have that much control over me anymore. So...can we?”

Yuta giggled and threw their head back for a moment. Kun smiled fondly at them. He couldn’t believe seven years had passed already. Yuta always looked the best when they laughed like this. Kun felt like he was back in his high school days with his roommate.

“You’re always so serious,” Yuta suppressed their laugh and finally spoke again. “I trust you. Give me your mobile.”

Kun flashed an embarrassed smile and pulled back his arms to fish his mobile out of his jeans pocket. Yuta exchanged numbers and returned the device to him.

Breaking Kun’s trance, Yuta stood up. “I need to go back in the kitchen now,” they said, contemplating for a second, “I will wait for your text.”

Kun smiled, nodding and made Yuta return the smile too. Yuta turned and walked away, disappearing around the counter. Kun sat numb, his coffee running cold. Was this what Yuta had felt seeing him leave back then? The emptiness was gripping on him. Kun wanted to talk to them more, spend more time with them just like the old days.

But Kun had a second chance this time. He would be more than happy to be only friends with Yuta again. He had found his peace again. And Kun was determined not to let it slip away once more. He picked his mobile from the table where Yuta had left it earlier. Before his mind could make him doubt his decision, Kun tapped on the newly saved number and typed – Hi, Yuta. He hit the ‘send’ button and heaved a sigh. Kun was sure that he wouldn’t regret this. 

**Author's Note:**

> hope it wasn't an utter disappointment hehe


End file.
